Leonardo theft.22.04.2010.

22.04.2010.
An heirloom, a Leonardo da Vinci painting which had been in the Duke of Buccleigh's family for 250 years and which was stolen four years ago has resurfaced in a lawyer's office.
The Duke, who was said to be heartbroken, died last year.
The lawyers were accused, then cleared of extorting money for the safe return of the painting. The thieves were never found.
The Da Vinci painting, The Madonna of the Yarnwinder is one of only twenty bythe artist remaining.

Da Vinci daubs safe
return uncodes puzzle but
were Yarns being Wound?

Eddie Stobart.19.04.2010.

Eddie Stobart, 55, multi-millionaire owner of the famous haulage firm, now retired, appeared in court in Warwickshire after being stopped at 2a.m. while driving. He was breathalyzed and found to be over the limit. Eddie's brother, William now owns the company, Eddie Stobart.

Are you an Eddie
spotter?,We spotted, stopped him,
hauled him into court.

Royal seat. 19.04.2010.

A chair which has been used in every Coronation for the last 700 years is to be given a makeover at a cost of £200,000. The Chair, which is large, has graffiti on the back dating from the 18th and 19th centuries. Two schoolboys once scrawled on it 'P.Abbott slept here in this chair.'

Shameless graffiti
'P.Abbott slept here' to be
wiped off Royal Seat.

Vinyl Editions. 19.04 2010.

A number of bands and artists, the tabloids report, have released tunes on vinyl . Blur, for example, released an album called 'Fool's Day'. Their limited edition records quickly sold out. Other artists have followed suit (for example, Paul McCartney, The Rolling Stones, The Pet Shop Boys, Babyshambles and Lily Allen).

No April Fool's Day
joke-limited edition
tunes cut on vinyl.

Colemanballs. EUFA Champion's League 21.04.10

Commentator: (during a Bayern Munich V Lyons match)
' That was the worst one from Ribery for me, with his favourite left foot!'

Methadrone danger. 19.04.10.

Methadrone has been in the news a lot lately. It's known as Miaouw. It's effects vary but are seen as being quite similar to those of amphetamine-type drugs, including Khat, a natural stimulant.

You'll feel Chattier
with Miaow-it's stronger than Khat
by a good whisker.

Dix gens.2010.

Au dessus
des chenes,
dix gens
'Dix cents'
descendent
de Dijon
(dit Jean)
ont dechainent
dix chiens
de Chine,
dit-on.

Ryanair takeover bid 5.09.07.

Ryanair is to launch a takeover bid for the State-controlled Aer Lingus.

Private Ryanair
wants to lick them, make the Sky
High Club tongue in cheek.

5.09.07. Silent ringtones

Mobile phone companies are to introduce silent ringtones in an effort to persuade irritated would-be users to purchase them.

Lowering the tone-
( irritating jingles are
muzac to our ears).

Difference between them and us. 23.11.07.

Scientists have discovered a 'dramatic' variation in the genetic make-up of humans that could provide 'a greater understanding' of mankind (and to those of us with Orwellian imaginations, a new programme of Eugenics somewhere in this unbrotherly world)
The findings mean that instead of humanity being 99.9% identical, we are at lest ten times more different from one another than was once thought. One has to ask why we are not struck by the similarities rather than the distinctions. We are still 99.9 per cent Simian and rather more barbaric since we are the only species which practises torture on a regular basis.

We are all different.
We knew that ages ago.
So why all the fuss?

We now know why we're
different but not why we should be
indifferent to this.

Olympic bid 23.11.07.

An Independent report highlights the exponentially soaring costs of the London Olympic bid from 1.5 billion to 2billion to a prospective 8 billion and rising as contractors and contractor's contractors ramp up their costs.

Cost of Olympics
contracts expands in billions.
Let's go for gold!

Olympic bid 23.11.07.

McCreedy case. 30.02.07.

Local Authorities have lost the case for taking Colin McCreedy, aged 12 into care because he is seriously overweight (at 16 stone) and his mother is unable to make him lose weight. He is so fat that he is 'unable' to take exercise...his jaws, sadly, are still getting plenty!

McGreedy boy is
the tip of an overweight iceberg,
that's Greater Britain.

Cuckoo in the nest
Fat Boy Colin McCreedy
refuses to Slim.

Well-travelled, unworldy children. 24.09.2007.

Source: the Independent

Two reports on the same page of the Independent reveal that today's children are 3 times further travelled than their parents were.
As many as 43% (and rising) of kids have amassed around 25,000 miles by the age of 12, with 63% reaching beyond Europe and America.
I in 5 of British children cannot find the UK on a map of the world. I in 10 were not able to name a single continent and more than 20.000 in London did not know that they lived in England's capital city!

Today's children have
travelled the world but haven't a
clue where their home is.

15th March, 2007

The head of the U.N. Nuclear Agency (the IAEA) met North Korean officials yesterday at Pyong yang. The visit was said to have 'cleared the air' though N.Korea wants US sanctions lifted before it will halt its Yongbyon reactor.

Tabled: Korea
talks. Ping pong at Pyong Yang but
no change at Yongbyon

15th march, 2007.

Camels, once used to construct a railroad and infrastructure across Australia have become part of the background of the continent's Fauna. Their descendents, the so-called 'wild camels' are 'wreaking havoc' in their efforts to find water in the continuing drought. Humans, who have no greater claim to water, and in this case the Oz Government, are hiring shooters to kill 100 per week.

You call it culling.
I call it killing (camels
taken Down Under).

15th March 2007.

The Home Office proposes to introduce detention 'holding cells' in shopping centres where police can detain suspected shoplifters and other low-level offenders. Legislation enabling police to continue interrogation after charges have been made is also in the White Paper.

Top Shop cop shops to
check out damaged goods. Heavy
duty for tea leaves.

One-stop Top shop cop
shops mean shoplifters will have
a shorter shelf-life.

Shopfitters to build
cop shops to hols shoplifters,
mums who stole Pampers.

World Cup 2006

As England approaches World Cup D-Day 29th May, 2006, every pillock has a plastic St. George's flag fluttering for their car door pillar.

'C'Mon Engerland'
car flags like red and white rags
to this angry bull.