9th May Haiku 2007.
Oliver Letwin, the Shadow Chancellor today made a speech denouncing Gordon Brown's economic ideas as 'provision theory.'
Brown is expected to offer a 'combination of continuity and change' in the first speech of his unelected Premiership that he will give after Blair's departure speech tommorrow.
'Continuity and change'
Contradiction in terms is
Brown's failsafe mantra.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
In the Bull Ring.
In the Bull Ring
"and then," you tell me,
pausing, thinking on your feet.
Sometimes you lean back lightly,
pull yourself up to your Gazelle height
or sidestep a little to focus on me.
Sometimes you thrust elegant hands,
exquisite hands deep into trouser pockets-
turning them, flashing them
fisted at me,
as your head tilts
and you almost grin...
...as I ache.
Sometimes you raise your brows
fleetingly, fixing me with your gaze,
eyes flickering over my face
searching me for details...
...as we ache.
Sometimes we stagger
in laughter together
through the Bull Ring,
desire and hysteria
filling our eyes,
blooming our cheeks
as we burst absurdities.
Or lustful we wind
animal bodies together
...aching.
"and then," you tell me,
pausing, thinking on your feet.
Sometimes you lean back lightly,
pull yourself up to your Gazelle height
or sidestep a little to focus on me.
Sometimes you thrust elegant hands,
exquisite hands deep into trouser pockets-
turning them, flashing them
fisted at me,
as your head tilts
and you almost grin...
...as I ache.
Sometimes you raise your brows
fleetingly, fixing me with your gaze,
eyes flickering over my face
searching me for details...
...as we ache.
Sometimes we stagger
in laughter together
through the Bull Ring,
desire and hysteria
filling our eyes,
blooming our cheeks
as we burst absurdities.
Or lustful we wind
animal bodies together
...aching.
More New Meanings July, 2011
New Meanings.
Filibuster:-
A method of breaking in young horses.
Bulldozer:-
A euphemism for Ketamine.
Trampoline:-
Rather like a vagrant.
Filibuster:-
A method of breaking in young horses.
Bulldozer:-
A euphemism for Ketamine.
Trampoline:-
Rather like a vagrant.
Clapham Mums.08
Clapham Mums.
Through the windscreen of a silver Landrover Cruiser, a camera observes two Forty-something women who have just belted up in preparation for a short drive. Both are wearing sunglasses atop their newly-coiffed hair. They are Del and Abby. Del is wearing a lime-green top with pastel pink accessories. Abby is ash-blonde with strawberry highlights and darker, more subdued clothing.
Del: (checking the tiny strands of styled hair in front of her ears in the rear-view mirror)
"The thing is Abby, Friday will be just fete stuff, so I've blanked out my diary.
The old kitchen goes out on the Tuesday and the new, bespoke kitchen comes in on the
Wednesday"
Abby: (as Del comes to the end of her sentence, enthusiastically, ina rising tone) "Mmmmm."
Del: (after a slight pause) "AND...we've FINALLY taken the decision ,thank God, to put the children into the Belvoir Academy which MEANS. . . we'll have to work very hard. S-o-o Abby, it looks like I've joined the ranks of the employed again. But you know what, I got riddled with arthritis the moment Jamie was born. You just don't realize how important your health is..."
Abby: staring out of her side window "Tell me about it."
Del: "Listen, I'll tell you what I'll do Abby- my petrol light is low so I'm gonna have to
drive through to Tesco's. I'm sorry to drag you round the houses. You know I seem to spend
my whole life driving between friends, school, the nursery and the gym! Then there's the
Church fete on Saturday. Muggins volunteered to arrange the gazebos in there!"
Abby: "God, the church, I know, Del. And the thing is is you can't choose who you meet in
church...you're dealing with people from all walks of life.. Like that
godawful trampy guy."
Del: "Mmmm...Exactly, this is it. Wasn't he terrible?"
Then, after a wistful pause conjured up by a shared memory of a Christening service marred by the presence of 'the trampy guy', a friend of Del's husband who had invited himself along, reeking of alcohol.
"You know what, it seems like ages since I saw you Abby!"
Abby: "I know Del, where does the time go? Don't answer that!"
Del: "Tell me about it. Last time I saw you I'd just bought the Cruiser. But the thing is is that
this the only thing I can fit my four into...and the other day I had to pick up and deliver six of
the gazebos to the church. SIX."
There's a lull in which both women digest the discomforts of their respective lives. In doing
this they each retreat a little into the spare chins they have been trying to ward off with
surgery, before Del picks up the thread of her discomfort.
"Sometimes I've got three pick-ups to do:-1:30, 3:20 and 4:30. I once did a school run and
had to go back to the same school three times. I mean, can you BELIEVE it?"
Abby: " Oh don't I know it Del!"
There's another silence, this time giving pause for a small satisfaction.
Del: "Abby, we're just about to turn into Dulwich College. I'm meeting two friends...they're
just back from France." Then, after a pause "God, I bet those cheeses are high by now "
Abby: "Yeah...so what's your week like Del ?"
Del: Straightening up as if about to look in the mirror before being distracted by a change in
the traffic light sequence.
"Well on Mondays I always have piano lessons. I'm really enjoying them actually.
The first piece I managed to play was Polonaise by J.F.C.Bach. The second
was by Redikov...who's Russian...I think! NO, don't laugh!"
Abby: Spluttering "As in Molotov, the vodka?!"
Both women are suddenly convulsed at the recent memory of a party where both had been
regaled with vodka in tiny brushed chrome shot dispensers by the host, a friend of Abby's
partner, Rod. 'That's Molotov' he had said 'it'll blow your head off.'
Del: "Oh my God, Abby, don't remind me. Did I really? I did, didn't I".
Abby: "Rod's bloody vodka...how can I forget it?! Oh dear me! Where were we?"
Del: 'Too right, yes, so, ahem -on Tuesdays I walk the dogs 'cos the dog-walker can't make it.
The order of the day for the fete's gonna be the auction, then the dog show and the debs.
show, which should be fun! Then comes the sale of goods. We raised about 12 grand last time
Abby which was seriously unsung hero stuff. I thought if we could bring in say, 10 grand that
would be s-o-o-o- great! ANYWAY.....I've got parent's evening next Monday and a school
trip the following day, so I'm gonna be whacked. Abby, I'm just gonna turn round here then
I'll drop you off coz I've got to pick up Jamie"
Del pulls over and releases her safety belt as Abby does the same.
Del: "Have a lovely, day...ciaou!"
Both: Exchanging a light peck of the cheek "Mwaaaah."
As Abby descends from the Landcruiser, Del shakes her hair and peers into the mirror again
while Abby cups her hand behind her in a little goodbye gesture.
Through the windscreen of a silver Landrover Cruiser, a camera observes two Forty-something women who have just belted up in preparation for a short drive. Both are wearing sunglasses atop their newly-coiffed hair. They are Del and Abby. Del is wearing a lime-green top with pastel pink accessories. Abby is ash-blonde with strawberry highlights and darker, more subdued clothing.
Del: (checking the tiny strands of styled hair in front of her ears in the rear-view mirror)
"The thing is Abby, Friday will be just fete stuff, so I've blanked out my diary.
The old kitchen goes out on the Tuesday and the new, bespoke kitchen comes in on the
Wednesday"
Abby: (as Del comes to the end of her sentence, enthusiastically, ina rising tone) "Mmmmm."
Del: (after a slight pause) "AND...we've FINALLY taken the decision ,thank God, to put the children into the Belvoir Academy which MEANS. . . we'll have to work very hard. S-o-o Abby, it looks like I've joined the ranks of the employed again. But you know what, I got riddled with arthritis the moment Jamie was born. You just don't realize how important your health is..."
Abby: staring out of her side window "Tell me about it."
Del: "Listen, I'll tell you what I'll do Abby- my petrol light is low so I'm gonna have to
drive through to Tesco's. I'm sorry to drag you round the houses. You know I seem to spend
my whole life driving between friends, school, the nursery and the gym! Then there's the
Church fete on Saturday. Muggins volunteered to arrange the gazebos in there!"
Abby: "God, the church, I know, Del. And the thing is is you can't choose who you meet in
church...you're dealing with people from all walks of life.. Like that
godawful trampy guy."
Del: "Mmmm...Exactly, this is it. Wasn't he terrible?"
Then, after a wistful pause conjured up by a shared memory of a Christening service marred by the presence of 'the trampy guy', a friend of Del's husband who had invited himself along, reeking of alcohol.
"You know what, it seems like ages since I saw you Abby!"
Abby: "I know Del, where does the time go? Don't answer that!"
Del: "Tell me about it. Last time I saw you I'd just bought the Cruiser. But the thing is is that
this the only thing I can fit my four into...and the other day I had to pick up and deliver six of
the gazebos to the church. SIX."
There's a lull in which both women digest the discomforts of their respective lives. In doing
this they each retreat a little into the spare chins they have been trying to ward off with
surgery, before Del picks up the thread of her discomfort.
"Sometimes I've got three pick-ups to do:-1:30, 3:20 and 4:30. I once did a school run and
had to go back to the same school three times. I mean, can you BELIEVE it?"
Abby: " Oh don't I know it Del!"
There's another silence, this time giving pause for a small satisfaction.
Del: "Abby, we're just about to turn into Dulwich College. I'm meeting two friends...they're
just back from France." Then, after a pause "God, I bet those cheeses are high by now "
Abby: "Yeah...so what's your week like Del ?"
Del: Straightening up as if about to look in the mirror before being distracted by a change in
the traffic light sequence.
"Well on Mondays I always have piano lessons. I'm really enjoying them actually.
The first piece I managed to play was Polonaise by J.F.C.Bach. The second
was by Redikov...who's Russian...I think! NO, don't laugh!"
Abby: Spluttering "As in Molotov, the vodka?!"
Both women are suddenly convulsed at the recent memory of a party where both had been
regaled with vodka in tiny brushed chrome shot dispensers by the host, a friend of Abby's
partner, Rod. 'That's Molotov' he had said 'it'll blow your head off.'
Del: "Oh my God, Abby, don't remind me. Did I really? I did, didn't I".
Abby: "Rod's bloody vodka...how can I forget it?! Oh dear me! Where were we?"
Del: 'Too right, yes, so, ahem -on Tuesdays I walk the dogs 'cos the dog-walker can't make it.
The order of the day for the fete's gonna be the auction, then the dog show and the debs.
show, which should be fun! Then comes the sale of goods. We raised about 12 grand last time
Abby which was seriously unsung hero stuff. I thought if we could bring in say, 10 grand that
would be s-o-o-o- great! ANYWAY.....I've got parent's evening next Monday and a school
trip the following day, so I'm gonna be whacked. Abby, I'm just gonna turn round here then
I'll drop you off coz I've got to pick up Jamie"
Del pulls over and releases her safety belt as Abby does the same.
Del: "Have a lovely, day...ciaou!"
Both: Exchanging a light peck of the cheek "Mwaaaah."
As Abby descends from the Landcruiser, Del shakes her hair and peers into the mirror again
while Abby cups her hand behind her in a little goodbye gesture.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Obama's stasis. 08.06.2010.
07.06.2010.
Barrack Obama, the US president has bunkered himself down into the White House as people's anger turns from BP to him for his hands-off approach and inactivity, for failing to do anything compelling, for fiddling while Rome burns.
Barrack's white-glove White
House bunker posture's a black
day for the whole world.
Obama barracks
self in, has no Plan A, sits
while future darkens.
Barrack Obama, the US president has bunkered himself down into the White House as people's anger turns from BP to him for his hands-off approach and inactivity, for failing to do anything compelling, for fiddling while Rome burns.
Barrack's white-glove White
House bunker posture's a black
day for the whole world.
Obama barracks
self in, has no Plan A, sits
while future darkens.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Fishing laws.07.06.2010.
07.06.2010.
A law to reduce the taking of large fish as specimens and for any other reason comes into force at this, the beginning of the coarse fishing season, reports the Times Fishing correspondent.
Telling fishy tails
may land fly guys in the drink,
hook, line and sinker.
Anglers fishing for
compliments will be saying
'Cod, it was THIS small'.
A law to reduce the taking of large fish as specimens and for any other reason comes into force at this, the beginning of the coarse fishing season, reports the Times Fishing correspondent.
Telling fishy tails
may land fly guys in the drink,
hook, line and sinker.
Anglers fishing for
compliments will be saying
'Cod, it was THIS small'.
Monday, June 7, 2010
BP Hayward's $10m 'sorry'
07.06.2010.
Doug Inkley, a senior scientist with the National Wildlife Federation is, as we all are infuriated and heartbroken by the B.P. continuing planetary damage and by what B.P. has proclaimed in their press releases and their oral (oily) statements.
They've just spent a cool $10m on a 'sorry' advert. After three months of continuous oil spillage, Tony Hayward, the British C.E. told the world that he was British and therefore made of sterner stuff, (unlike the spineless crustaceans who have succumbed to the oil)and wouldn't have his bones broken by sticks and stones (we can think of more fitting ways but would these be just like water off his back rather than oil off a duck's?) He is now appearing to gush, to spill about how 'sorry' he is.
You'll B.e P.aying for
my gush too. Oil on duck's backs
is water off mine.
'Transparency' by
B.P.'s even more glutinous
than their obscene oil.
Doug Inkley, a senior scientist with the National Wildlife Federation is, as we all are infuriated and heartbroken by the B.P. continuing planetary damage and by what B.P. has proclaimed in their press releases and their oral (oily) statements.
They've just spent a cool $10m on a 'sorry' advert. After three months of continuous oil spillage, Tony Hayward, the British C.E. told the world that he was British and therefore made of sterner stuff, (unlike the spineless crustaceans who have succumbed to the oil)and wouldn't have his bones broken by sticks and stones (we can think of more fitting ways but would these be just like water off his back rather than oil off a duck's?) He is now appearing to gush, to spill about how 'sorry' he is.
You'll B.e P.aying for
my gush too. Oil on duck's backs
is water off mine.
'Transparency' by
B.P.'s even more glutinous
than their obscene oil.
Pseuds Corner:- submissions for Private Eye
Pseuds Corner. 07.06.2010.
Pete Paphides in The Times 29.05.2010. 'First Night', reviewing a Leona Lewis concert at Sheffield Arena.
"For 'Whatever It Takes', she (Leona Lewis) asked to see the 12,000-strong audience's hands in the sort of breezy tones that could just as easily be asking them if they had a loyalty card...
The sight of several thousand phones "lighting up" as instructed in the words of 'Run' was no less breathtaking for its inevitability. Lewis tackled the Snow Patrol song with a pneumatic might that matched that of the podium beneath her."
Sent in by Lou Stothard.
Pete Paphides in The Times 29.05.2010. 'First Night', reviewing a Leona Lewis concert at Sheffield Arena.
"For 'Whatever It Takes', she (Leona Lewis) asked to see the 12,000-strong audience's hands in the sort of breezy tones that could just as easily be asking them if they had a loyalty card...
The sight of several thousand phones "lighting up" as instructed in the words of 'Run' was no less breathtaking for its inevitability. Lewis tackled the Snow Patrol song with a pneumatic might that matched that of the podium beneath her."
Sent in by Lou Stothard.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
I-pad fad. 30.05.2010.
Queues of people formed outside the Apple shop in Regent Street overnight as the Ipad was about to be launched in Britain. The tablet style computer is about £600.The launch has been worldwide. There was a 200 metre queue in Sydney, Aus. where Apple staff ran up and down the line exchanging high-fives with folk who stared straight ahead and had no eye-contact with each other.
That's my pad and by
the way it's not for sharing,
just for me, me, me.
With I-pad I can
look at more stuff and not have
to look at people.
(Ironic, just in case you thought that was meant enthusiastically!)
That's my pad and by
the way it's not for sharing,
just for me, me, me.
With I-pad I can
look at more stuff and not have
to look at people.
(Ironic, just in case you thought that was meant enthusiastically!)
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