Clapham Mums.08

Clapham Mums.

Through the windscreen of a silver Landrover Cruiser, a camera observes two Forty-something women who have just belted up in preparation for a short drive. Both are wearing sunglasses atop their newly-coiffed hair. They are Del and Abby. Del is wearing a lime-green top with pastel pink accessories. Abby is ash-blonde with strawberry highlights and darker, more subdued clothing.

Del: (checking the tiny strands of styled hair in front of her ears in the rear-view mirror)
"The thing is Abby, Friday will be just fete stuff, so I've blanked out my diary.
The old kitchen goes out on the Tuesday and the new, bespoke kitchen comes in on the
Wednesday"

Abby: (as Del comes to the end of her sentence, enthusiastically, ina rising tone) "Mmmmm."

Del: (after a slight pause) "AND...we've FINALLY taken the decision ,thank God, to put the children into the Belvoir Academy which MEANS. . . we'll have to work very hard. S-o-o Abby, it looks like I've joined the ranks of the employed again. But you know what, I got riddled with arthritis the moment Jamie was born. You just don't realize how important your health is..."

Abby: staring out of her side window "Tell me about it."

Del: "Listen, I'll tell you what I'll do Abby- my petrol light is low so I'm gonna have to
drive through to Tesco's. I'm sorry to drag you round the houses. You know I seem to spend
my whole life driving between friends, school, the nursery and the gym! Then there's the
Church fete on Saturday. Muggins volunteered to arrange the gazebos in there!"

Abby: "God, the church, I know, Del. And the thing is is you can't choose who you meet in
church...you're dealing with people from all walks of life.. Like that
godawful trampy guy."

Del: "Mmmm...Exactly, this is it. Wasn't he terrible?"

Then, after a wistful pause conjured up by a shared memory of a Christening service marred by the presence of 'the trampy guy', a friend of Del's husband who had invited himself along, reeking of alcohol.

"You know what, it seems like ages since I saw you Abby!"

Abby: "I know Del, where does the time go? Don't answer that!"

Del: "Tell me about it. Last time I saw you I'd just bought the Cruiser. But the thing is is that
this the only thing I can fit my four into...and the other day I had to pick up and deliver six of
the gazebos to the church. SIX."
There's a lull in which both women digest the discomforts of their respective lives. In doing
this they each retreat a little into the spare chins they have been trying to ward off with
surgery, before Del picks up the thread of her discomfort.
"Sometimes I've got three pick-ups to do:-1:30, 3:20 and 4:30. I once did a school run and
had to go back to the same school three times. I mean, can you BELIEVE it?"
　
Abby: " Oh don't I know it Del!"

There's another silence, this time giving pause for a small satisfaction.

Del: "Abby, we're just about to turn into Dulwich College. I'm meeting two friends...they're
just back from France." Then, after a pause "God, I bet those cheeses are high by now "

Abby: "Yeah...so what's your week like Del ?"

Del: Straightening up as if about to look in the mirror before being distracted by a change in
the traffic light sequence.
"Well on Mondays I always have piano lessons. I'm really enjoying them actually.
The first piece I managed to play was Polonaise by J.F.C.Bach. The second
was by Redikov...who's Russian...I think! NO, don't laugh!"

Abby: Spluttering "As in Molotov, the vodka?!"
Both women are suddenly convulsed at the recent memory of a party where both had been
regaled with vodka in tiny brushed chrome shot dispensers by the host, a friend of Abby's
partner, Rod. 'That's Molotov' he had said 'it'll blow your head off.'

Del: "Oh my God, Abby, don't remind me. Did I really? I did, didn't I".

Abby: "Rod's bloody vodka...how can I forget it?! Oh dear me! Where were we?"

Del: 'Too right, yes, so, ahem -on Tuesdays I walk the dogs 'cos the dog-walker can't make it.
The order of the day for the fete's gonna be the auction, then the dog show and the debs.
show, which should be fun! Then comes the sale of goods. We raised about 12 grand last time
Abby which was seriously unsung hero stuff. I thought if we could bring in say, 10 grand that
would be s-o-o-o- great! ANYWAY.....I've got parent's evening next Monday and a school
trip the following day, so I'm gonna be whacked. Abby, I'm just gonna turn round here then
I'll drop you off coz I've got to pick up Jamie"

Del pulls over and releases her safety belt as Abby does the same.

Del: "Have a lovely, day...ciaou!"

Both: Exchanging a light peck of the cheek "Mwaaaah."

As Abby descends from the Landcruiser, Del shakes her hair and peers into the mirror again
while Abby cups her hand behind her in a little goodbye gesture.