Newspeak

Spotted in The Guardian 23.03.2011




'emotional optics'. ' Background: Allied forces attack Libya.. indiscriminate bombing, random strikes kill many Libyan citizens.

'A Senior Cabinet Minister admitted that the emotional optics of cruise missiles raining down backed by coalition military briefings had unwelcome echoes of Iraq.'



In the same paper...



'mission creep'. Background: Allied forces attack Libyan citizens in the week in which a split between a military who urged caution and Cameron's pursuance of Gaddafi



'there was disquiet about 'mission creep' ..and whether the intervention would end in an unstable partition of Libya.



The head of US African Command Gen. Carter F.Ham said he was not worried about 'mission creep.'

Freud and co. cake it 20.03.2011

Source: The Observer.

Fat cat Matthew Freud's Freud Communications Co. is being paid £500,000 a year to 'advise' on the government's new anti-obesity campaign, Change4Life. Funny that, because it also helps obesity (and itself) along via a big dollop of fizzy drinks and sweets promotions.


The £250 million Change4Life programme provides vouchers for healthy foods. Yet Mars, Pepsicola et.al. have been paying Matthew Freud's company 1.5 million per annum for the last three yeras.

It's a family stitch-up really as the vouchers are carried in the News of the Screws, owned by none other than Ruper Murdoch, whose daughter is married to... you guessed it, Matthew Freud (grandson of Sigmund)

Incidentally, Freud schmoozed David Cameron on a big fat yacht last year...



Matthew's portions grow,

fatten Murdochdom by slipped

Freudian standards.



Fat cats Freud, Murdoch

cake it, grow corpulent on

our obesity.

Zuckerberg sucks 09.02.2011.

Source: The Guardian

Mark Zuckerberg, lists his Facebook profile interests as 'openness, making things that help people connect and share what's important to them'

Is that why he obtained a restraining order on Pradeep Manukonda, alleging that the 31 year old 'sent him flowers and tried to accost him.' He also accused Manukonda of writing a letter to tell him that he'd been 'an inspiration to all of us.'

Desire to connect

turns Fbook founder MZuch

into fuckoff schmuck.

Elton 'pops' sprog.

Source: The Times

The rock star Elton John, 63, has decided to become a gay dad with his partner David Furnish.

He hired a surrogate mother, a 'gestation carrier' as it is known in the USA at

£10,000 a pop ('that's 1.67 per hour, as the owner of the womb balefully announced) for the sprog he has named Zachary.

Elton also 'revealed' his desire to found a museum to house his huge photo collection and personal memorabilia.

'I've always wanted to leave all the photographs to the nation, and the memorabilia at the same time, to create a museum where you see my life' said Elton, formerly known as Reg. Dwight. 'Instead of doing a biography or autobiography' he mused 'you see my life through objects and you get to see the wonderful photographs I've collected over the years.

I'd love to do that but you have to find the space and get it funded-it's quite complicated.'

　

Elton can't write pop

any more. He's decided

to pop one instead.

Dwight, decrepit,

pays gestation carrier

to Furnish a son.

Loaded has-been Dwight

wants the world to pay to view

his off-loaded crap.

E-confessions.09.02.2011

Source: The Times.

Roman Catholic bishops have approved a new iphone/ipad app. that allows users to to make confessions with a virtual priest over the internet.

'Confessions: a Roman catholic App.' on sale this week offers 'a personalized examination of conscience for each user.' Sins are listed by misdeed and omission. A button lists 'customary sins' gluttony, envy, greed, etc. Each sin is check-boxed. A next command brings up one of the Acts of Contrition. Users then press 'Receive Absolution and respond Amen' before going to 'Finish.' A spiritual quote then comes up.

It was made by 'Little Apps'

Forgive me father

for coveting my neighbour's

app., deleting sins.

Father Ted, eat your

heart out. Virtual Churches,

priests, sins are here now!

　

Hospital cafe13.03.2011

Shelved, for a time

in the cafe queue,

the visitors glaze over,

dazed, gaze through the

thickets of care, of chat

and that;

seek crumbs, slices of

comfort- hot paninis,

steak pies,
Roquefort binlids 

something wholly

inappropriate;

burn fingers, mouths,

minds;
watch the green caps
and aprons rush around,

watch the incubation

of hot food.