Sayings and similes

Two's a party...
three's even better!

The ultimate shame ...
a mobile phone ringing at a funeral.

About as supportive as a helium balloon.

It goes on longer than a DFS sale.

Two things alone can get you through misfortune and abuse-
eccentricity, and hope.

I don't mind dying -
so long as I'm not there when it happens.

The human race-
was lost a long time ago

Why are they called teenagers?
Because teens age us.

I thought the 'thinking man's crumpet' was just a sad contradiction in terms but apparently-
it's a car.
(on seeing an ad for a car brand with the logo
'the thinking man's crumpet' written above it) .

I don't so much bend gender
as snap it in half.

New Labour is all about
agenda- bending.


When I go window shopping, I don't look through the windows, I look AT them.



Money maketh a man unhealthy, wealthy and wide.


Never come empty-handed



I'm so kinky...

that the ends have joined up-
making me a fully rounded person.


Nature tolerates man.
Man does not tolerate Nature.




The relationship between wealth and poverty is this:
Wealth begets greater wealth.
Poverty begets greater poverty.